Illuminated by the glow of the nearly two dozen candles, the three-time NBA champion reportedly then proceeded to arrhythmically contort his body in a hypnotic display of reverential worship to the Princes of Darkness in the final minutes before tipoff. The crowd of 20, reportedly continued to stare fixedly up at the scene playing out on the Jumbotron as James soon turned the dagger on himself, inscribing his flesh with the number 23 and letting the blood run down the free-throw lane as he prostrated himself in each cardinal direction to acknowledge the Four Crown Princes of Hell. Drink from the blood of the sacrificial lamb and make manifest my wishes to hammer the interior of the Warriors defense until a championship ring sits upon my finger once again and forevermore! It is done! Hail Satan! At press time, James had reportedly placed a hand over his blood-smeared chest and was bowing his head for the national anthem.
The year-old Londoner was given the prestigious position to appear as the head of the procession down Sambadrome avenue, dancing alongside hundreds of other performers and huge statue-like props. Talented Samantha was given the responsibility to dance alone because samba bosses believed she deserved it, and was decked out in a costume covered with 12, crystals glued to it and almost pheasant feathers displayed on her back. She said: "I was a bit shocked when I received the invitation. I am not a voluptuous Brazilian woman. I cannot compare myself to them so the best thing I can do is to just be myself.
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